Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
