I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
