The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
