just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Just puked most of my soul out..
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
