At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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