halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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