her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
