This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
