Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
