The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
