Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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