i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
