I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
