I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
