Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
