I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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