I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
