And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
