you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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