He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
