The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize