So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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