Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize