Will you blow on my dice?
My cat gives me a boner
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
