a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I need to align my fucking chakras
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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