hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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