butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize