Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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