No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Send help, water and tortillas.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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