i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
A+ Viking dick
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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