Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
