I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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