I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
