i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
