so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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