hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
