just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I touched a dick in church today
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
