I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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