Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
