Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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