I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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