so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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