Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
