at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
