i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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