Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
