no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she pinky promised me she was 18
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
