If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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