Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You ate ashes out of my bong
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
