Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
