We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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