ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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