his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
