he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize