I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
