we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
