I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Sober January is a disaster.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
