I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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