then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
