Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
