Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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