I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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