you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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