operation have a gay friend backfired
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
